Call me ghetto, call me cheap, call me naive... cause I have just now discovered the wonderfulness that is Rice-a-Roni. I remember the commercials from when I was a tyke. I didn't think anything of them except that they were catchy, and I didn't understand why rice was so big in San Francisco. But now I have purchased the boxes of rice with, as the directions on the back of the box describe them, 'Special Seasonings.' I am converted. In fact, I'm eating the Parmesan and Romano cheese variety right now.
Men, cover your eyes... cause I also wanted to share my discovery of cheap bras. I used to spend $85 PER bra at Nordstrom. But having to buy new bras to accommodate my changing, yet temporary, body (tactful, no?), I resorted to $18 Playtex bras from Target. And you know what? They could be worse.
Nate has taught me to reuse my cereal bowl instead of putting each one in the dish washer every morning. Eat, rinse, repeat.
I dilute my conditioner.
I remember my mom telling me how she and my dad used to eat PB&J's more often than they'd like, and their first bookshelves were made from cinder blocks and planks of wood. I'd think about this when I was single, telling the universe that I would rather eat PB&J's every day than be alone. Now here I am... I'm in the days my mom talked about.
Yep, these are the days... I hope they don't last forever, but I know I'm gonna miss them.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
yes sir, yes sir... 3 hours full
At the risk of sounding negative and like a hypocrite, I am going to say the following...
Why is it that when you are married and go to a social function, a BBQ for example, the men and women divide? I found myself talking about pregnancy for 3 hours tonight with the other women at a BBQ. That's all we talked about. Literally. Now I know that I don't express much on my blog these days about anything other than pregnancy, but that's for the purpose of documentation. I do think about other things. So when I go to a social function and feel like I would be breaking some social rule by hanging out with the men, I get frustrated... because the conversation in my circle is overwhelmingly unvaried. And I'm stuck talking about pregnancy for 3 hours. With only women. 3. Hours. Pregnancy. Women. Head explode.
Is this how married society functions? Do we find a mate only to ditch him in public to chat it up with the girls about girl things? Have I just not been married to Nate long enough to need a break from him, even if it's to talk about pregnancy for 3 solid hours?
Is it me? And am I eventually, after years of divided-gender BBQs, going to somehow morph into a person who only talks about pregnancy and shopping and kids and recipes? Because isn't that what my life will become filled with... and shouldn't I be happy about that? Isn't this exactly what I wanted?
I've taken this too far now. I do want pregnancy and kids and all that that entails, but not at the expense of other interests or topics to discuss.
I've heard other women complain about this same thing. And so now I'm just on the other side of the fence, another sheep in a different herd. We either talk about pregnancy for 3 hours or complain about talking about it. We're all so cliche.
And that's somehow two sheep related blog posts in a row. Talk about a one track mind.
Why is it that when you are married and go to a social function, a BBQ for example, the men and women divide? I found myself talking about pregnancy for 3 hours tonight with the other women at a BBQ. That's all we talked about. Literally. Now I know that I don't express much on my blog these days about anything other than pregnancy, but that's for the purpose of documentation. I do think about other things. So when I go to a social function and feel like I would be breaking some social rule by hanging out with the men, I get frustrated... because the conversation in my circle is overwhelmingly unvaried. And I'm stuck talking about pregnancy for 3 hours. With only women. 3. Hours. Pregnancy. Women. Head explode.
Is this how married society functions? Do we find a mate only to ditch him in public to chat it up with the girls about girl things? Have I just not been married to Nate long enough to need a break from him, even if it's to talk about pregnancy for 3 solid hours?
Is it me? And am I eventually, after years of divided-gender BBQs, going to somehow morph into a person who only talks about pregnancy and shopping and kids and recipes? Because isn't that what my life will become filled with... and shouldn't I be happy about that? Isn't this exactly what I wanted?
I've taken this too far now. I do want pregnancy and kids and all that that entails, but not at the expense of other interests or topics to discuss.
I've heard other women complain about this same thing. And so now I'm just on the other side of the fence, another sheep in a different herd. We either talk about pregnancy for 3 hours or complain about talking about it. We're all so cliche.
And that's somehow two sheep related blog posts in a row. Talk about a one track mind.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
black sheep
I would prefer not to sleep these days if I could survive without it because my dreams are horrible. Some nights Nate is leaving me for another woman, and other nights I am confronting natural disasters. After the former, I have woken up in a panic in the middle of the night and whimpered as I lie next to Nate wishing he'd wake up and hold me. Sound pathetic? It is... and it's, as mentioned, horrible.
Last night's dream was all about my friends having heard rumors that I was saying bad things about them. They confronted me over lunch, and all I could say was that I had no idea what they were talking about. This went on for days... confrontations and denials. I finally lost it and yelled to them all "I swear on my God and my life that I never said those things!" I stormed out and went to a guy's house who I knew must be starting the rumors. From there, it's blank. I remember a creepy old woman emerging from his closet, and I remember a gun going off. The guy was shot dead, the old woman was gone, and I was left in the room in a daze. I put the guy in the closet and walked out the front door of his house. It was raining, and I got soaked while I sat on a large rock in his front yard trying to piece together what I'd just been a part of somehow. His house phone rang, so I went inside and answered it. "Is this Emilie? I have an order for two dozen cookies, and I need an address for delivery." I didn't know who had ordered cookies or how the man on the phone had my name, but I love cookies... so I gave him my address. I walked home in the rain to wait for the cookies to arrive and found my friends all waiting outside. Two cop cars drove up upon my arrival with the lights flashing, and a younger version of the old lady from the guy's house got out of the car. She was in uniform and holding handcuffs. She gently took my hands in hers and said, "Emilie, you are under arrest for murder." In that moment, I knew I was guilty but that it must have been self-defense... and I knew nobody would believe me, least of all my friends. So I made myself wake up... a lucid dreaming technique that I've acquired lately. If I don't like the dream, I wake myself up. I wake up a lot lately.
Anyway, that probably wasn't as dramatic or interesting to anyone as it was to me, but we all know how dreams go. I've been keeping Nate up at night, too. That might be worse than the dreams themselves. He can't take naps like I can.
Last night was nice before the sleeping and dreaming. I made foil salmon and rice, and we drank Italian soda. I coaxed Nate to watch Adventures in Babysitting, a throw back to my childhood. There was nothing there to trigger bad dreams. Oh, except that I'm pregnant. There's always that constant. Is it the hormones? The ever present subconscious fear of giving birth? I'm not sure what else to do to calm myself before hitting the hay. We say our prayers, and Nate has been singing to my belly for a week now.
And so I've decided that all I can do is embrace the interrupted sleep... because it will be my reality for a long time before and after the baby is born.
Last night's dream was all about my friends having heard rumors that I was saying bad things about them. They confronted me over lunch, and all I could say was that I had no idea what they were talking about. This went on for days... confrontations and denials. I finally lost it and yelled to them all "I swear on my God and my life that I never said those things!" I stormed out and went to a guy's house who I knew must be starting the rumors. From there, it's blank. I remember a creepy old woman emerging from his closet, and I remember a gun going off. The guy was shot dead, the old woman was gone, and I was left in the room in a daze. I put the guy in the closet and walked out the front door of his house. It was raining, and I got soaked while I sat on a large rock in his front yard trying to piece together what I'd just been a part of somehow. His house phone rang, so I went inside and answered it. "Is this Emilie? I have an order for two dozen cookies, and I need an address for delivery." I didn't know who had ordered cookies or how the man on the phone had my name, but I love cookies... so I gave him my address. I walked home in the rain to wait for the cookies to arrive and found my friends all waiting outside. Two cop cars drove up upon my arrival with the lights flashing, and a younger version of the old lady from the guy's house got out of the car. She was in uniform and holding handcuffs. She gently took my hands in hers and said, "Emilie, you are under arrest for murder." In that moment, I knew I was guilty but that it must have been self-defense... and I knew nobody would believe me, least of all my friends. So I made myself wake up... a lucid dreaming technique that I've acquired lately. If I don't like the dream, I wake myself up. I wake up a lot lately.
Anyway, that probably wasn't as dramatic or interesting to anyone as it was to me, but we all know how dreams go. I've been keeping Nate up at night, too. That might be worse than the dreams themselves. He can't take naps like I can.
Last night was nice before the sleeping and dreaming. I made foil salmon and rice, and we drank Italian soda. I coaxed Nate to watch Adventures in Babysitting, a throw back to my childhood. There was nothing there to trigger bad dreams. Oh, except that I'm pregnant. There's always that constant. Is it the hormones? The ever present subconscious fear of giving birth? I'm not sure what else to do to calm myself before hitting the hay. We say our prayers, and Nate has been singing to my belly for a week now.
And so I've decided that all I can do is embrace the interrupted sleep... because it will be my reality for a long time before and after the baby is born.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
three
I'm soooo pregnant. Yes, pregnancy is quantifiable.
My wedding ring cuts off my circulation.
My veins are bursting out my left leg.
I've started lucid dreaming...about earthquakes and dogs and making out with Obama.
While getting cereal the other morning, I found that I'd put the salsa away in the cupboard after our previous night's dinner.
I pause to make sure what I'm doing is correct. "This is milk. This is cereal. Pouring milk on cereal... Ok. We're good here."
I wore my first maxi dress today.
I sleep only on my sides.
I cried when I saw an elderly man slowly crossing the parking lot at work.
I won't even mention my gas. Erm...
We had another ultrasound on Wednesaday. Max has Nate's nose. I can't wait to kiss his little face silly. As I'm writing this, Nate has his hand on my belly while watching a movie, and Max is turning somersaults. Saturday nights have never been so good.
My wedding ring cuts off my circulation.
My veins are bursting out my left leg.
I've started lucid dreaming...about earthquakes and dogs and making out with Obama.
While getting cereal the other morning, I found that I'd put the salsa away in the cupboard after our previous night's dinner.
I pause to make sure what I'm doing is correct. "This is milk. This is cereal. Pouring milk on cereal... Ok. We're good here."
I wore my first maxi dress today.
I sleep only on my sides.
I cried when I saw an elderly man slowly crossing the parking lot at work.
I won't even mention my gas. Erm...
We had another ultrasound on Wednesaday. Max has Nate's nose. I can't wait to kiss his little face silly. As I'm writing this, Nate has his hand on my belly while watching a movie, and Max is turning somersaults. Saturday nights have never been so good.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
camera obscura
A year ago today, Nate and I got married at the Palmyra temple and spent the next few days at the Timber Trails Lodge in the Finger Lakes region of NY. We took lots of pictures on our honeymoon, but we lost the camera. For our anniversary, Nate asked the managers of the cabin for some pics to surprise me. This first year has flown by, and seeing a piece of the beginning made me pretty emotional.
Nate made two kinds of pizza for dinner, and I made blueberry crumble for dessert. We ate our delicious creations, reminisced about the year, and were going to read before bed, but...
Our AC stopped working. It's now Monday, and we've just gotten home from spending the night on our friends' pull-out bed. I rescued them when their car broke down a few weeks ago, so they were eager to return the favor. This is the second time our AC has stopped working this summer, and I hope it's the last. We spent two hours spritzing ourselves with water while sitting in front of our box fan as the temp crept up to 90 before we fled the apt. Miserable. But our friends keep their AC real high and had a ceiling fan blasting us while we slept, so we ended our anniversary in comfort.
To recap, this last year brought us both marriage, moves, new jobs, new callings, new families, two pregnancies and a baby on the way. The coming year will be just as full of change as Max will be born in November, Nate finishes law school, and we head east for a bit. I was talking to my mom last night about how quickly things go once they start going... how a year and a half ago I didn't think I'd ever get married, and now I've been married a year. "And then one day you're talking to your 28 year old daughter who is about to have a kid," she responded. I laughed, but time does move quickly. Having the snapshots of the cabin frozen in time for us to visit in memory every year means more to me now having not had them during this first year. So I guess I'll be snapping lots of pictures of the things I don't want to forget... and hopefully this year we don't lose our camera.
Nate made two kinds of pizza for dinner, and I made blueberry crumble for dessert. We ate our delicious creations, reminisced about the year, and were going to read before bed, but...
Our AC stopped working. It's now Monday, and we've just gotten home from spending the night on our friends' pull-out bed. I rescued them when their car broke down a few weeks ago, so they were eager to return the favor. This is the second time our AC has stopped working this summer, and I hope it's the last. We spent two hours spritzing ourselves with water while sitting in front of our box fan as the temp crept up to 90 before we fled the apt. Miserable. But our friends keep their AC real high and had a ceiling fan blasting us while we slept, so we ended our anniversary in comfort.
To recap, this last year brought us both marriage, moves, new jobs, new callings, new families, two pregnancies and a baby on the way. The coming year will be just as full of change as Max will be born in November, Nate finishes law school, and we head east for a bit. I was talking to my mom last night about how quickly things go once they start going... how a year and a half ago I didn't think I'd ever get married, and now I've been married a year. "And then one day you're talking to your 28 year old daughter who is about to have a kid," she responded. I laughed, but time does move quickly. Having the snapshots of the cabin frozen in time for us to visit in memory every year means more to me now having not had them during this first year. So I guess I'll be snapping lots of pictures of the things I don't want to forget... and hopefully this year we don't lose our camera.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
if you believe in summer, clap your hands
Nate and I drove up to Snowflake this weekend to escape the heat and spend the 4th with family.
Most of our time was spent outside... because here in Mesa, we rarely leave the AC. It's been consistently in the hundreds, and with monsoon season approaching, it's getting more humid. Snowflake was warm and sunny with a cool breeze and occasional cloud cover. Perfection. We'd sit out on the double swing in our bare feet and chat, eating cherry pie while the little cousins ran around the perfectly green yard. It felt like summer. And I realized that Mesa doesn't feel like anything. We avoid the summer heat and so experience no real summer fun. In winter, it's cool out, but there's no sense of season... no sled riding, no angels in the snow, no warm sweaters, and no seeing your own breath.
Our last night in Snowflake, grandpa made steaks on the grill, the leftovers of which we ate for breakfast. Hearty home cooking. Leaving was quite sad, and I was tempted to have Nate go home without me. We've actually discussed my moving up there in mid-July to spend the rest of the summer in comfort. We'll see what becomes of that.
Most of our time was spent outside... because here in Mesa, we rarely leave the AC. It's been consistently in the hundreds, and with monsoon season approaching, it's getting more humid. Snowflake was warm and sunny with a cool breeze and occasional cloud cover. Perfection. We'd sit out on the double swing in our bare feet and chat, eating cherry pie while the little cousins ran around the perfectly green yard. It felt like summer. And I realized that Mesa doesn't feel like anything. We avoid the summer heat and so experience no real summer fun. In winter, it's cool out, but there's no sense of season... no sled riding, no angels in the snow, no warm sweaters, and no seeing your own breath.
Our last night in Snowflake, grandpa made steaks on the grill, the leftovers of which we ate for breakfast. Hearty home cooking. Leaving was quite sad, and I was tempted to have Nate go home without me. We've actually discussed my moving up there in mid-July to spend the rest of the summer in comfort. We'll see what becomes of that.
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