o holy moly

Nothing says Christmas like free mole removals from Aunt Alicia.


It was kinda like a couples' massage. We held hands.

For now...

Before too much time lapses since Max's birth, I wanted to get at least SOMETHING about the experience on here. We've been busy packing up for our move back east, preparing for Christmas vacation in Snowflake and Vegas, and taking care of Max... so I haven't found the time to write down the birth experience in detail. Luckily, Nate jotted down a list of events as they took place once we checked into the hospital. For what it's worth...

BIRTH TIMES

- Arrived at 8:55 P.M.
- Checked in and into room 318 by 9:15 – Nurse Paula
- Triage applied to Em’s belly to monitor baby and Em’s blood pressure (it was abnormally high – a bit of the jitters perhaps?)
- 10:30 PM First gel applied
- 12:00-1:00 AM Em is able to walk around, Nate gets stuff out of car.
- 1:00-2:00 AM Second gel applied, Em on her left side, contractions increased in intensity, bloody show making an appearance.
- Nate sleeps 12:30-4:00 (off and on)
- 3:00-4:00 AM Walk around, Em sits with half awake Nate
- 4:00-5:00 AM Third gel applied, Em on her right side, contractions worse, Max punching and kicking the heck out of Em’s uterus.
- 5:15 AM Paula brings birthing tub in.
- 5:30-6:00 AM Em and Nate snack and get through several unfun contractions.
- 6:15-8:00 AM Em gets in the tub, Nate sleeps a bit more
- 7:15 AM Changing of the guard. Paula goes home to sleep. Jamie the new RN arrives. Em says she smells like smoke.
- 7:30 AM Em’s breakfast arrives. Cereal, toast, eggs & ham. Orange juice. Em eats some of it. Nate adds peanut butter to some of the toast for Em.
- 8:15 AM Janice (midwife) makes her arrival and opens one of the blinds to get a bit of light into the room. Puts Em back on monitor for 20 minutes. Recommends a light pitocin drip beginning at 8:45. Em is 4 cm and 80% effaced. Janice "strips" Em membranes. Everything looks good; Max is still active.
- 8:45 AM Jaime puts Em on the pitocin drip – level 1. Going to increase it up to 6.
- 9:00-11:00 AM Em gets checked several more times – at 5 cm, 80-90% effaced. Internal checks more painful than contractions. Jamie is not very gentle.
- 12:00 PM Em gets lunch – steak on bread with gravy, salad. Blah.
- 12:15 PM Janice has the tub emptied, refilled, and moved to the other side of the room.
- 1:00 PM Family arrives – Liz leaves Nash and Haven with Sarah at our apartment, picks up Carol and Bob and they come to the hospital.
- 2:00 PM Jamie gives Em an internal exam that sends her through the roof – she digs her fingers into Nate’s hand. Not very gentle – did she forget that Em doesn’t have an epidural?
- 3:00 PM Em gets back in the tub. She feels progress and the tub relaxes her quite a bit. Nate takes a nap.
o While in the tub, Em’s contractions continue with strength but nothing strong enough to get Janice excited.
- 4:45 PM Em gets out of the tub in preparation for Janice’s exam.
- 5:00 PM Janice says that no progress has happened – still 5 cm. Going to start back on pitocin up to level six. Em is not excited.
- 5:00-10:00 PM Em has contractions – Nate helps her most of the time - massage, pressure, positive verbal reinforcement. Liz also helps here and there, massaging feet.
- 6:00 PM Em receives dinner – spaghetti, salad, veggies, canned peaches. She nibbles and Nate eats the rest.
- 7:00 PM Jamie is off her shift. Here comes Jessica. At first she chews gum obnoxiously, but eventually she becomes a favorite (except for her unilateral decision the next morning to take Em off of pitocin).
- 10:30 PM Dr. Almos comes in to give Em an epidural. We like him, very slow and thorough in inserting the needles.
o Since the epidural, Em has been itchy, a bit of nausea...
o Once epidural takes hold, Em gets a catheter.
- 11:30-4:00 PM-AM Em is finally able to get some sleep. Nate also sleeps, wakes up here and there during the night to check on Em. Jessica is very proactive about adjusting Em in the bed, emptying her catheter bag, and she got the empty tub out of the room.
- 4:39 AM Em’s water breaks while Jessica is doing a routine exam – finally! Jessica makes the decision to stop the pitocin to see if Em will contract by herself. Em doesn’t progress.
- 4:30-7:15 AM Em and Nate are able to sleep a little bit more.
- 7:00 AM Jessica is off of her shift. Some new chick and a student chick are now the nurses. The nurse jokes have started to recycle. Kill Nate now. At least they brought him breakfast.
- 7:00 AM Em gets breakfast – she can’t eat it because she has an epidural. Nate eats it happily. Crappy pancakes, sausage, eggs, rice crispies and milk, and orange juice.
- 7:20 AM Em starts back up on pitocin.
- 7:45 AM Janice comes to check up on Em. 9 cm and 100% effaced and Max’s head is a 0 or -1.
- 8:10 AM Em starts feeling rectal pressure; Max is descending.
- 9:00 AM Liz and Carol arrive.
- 9:15 AM Janice came in and said that she would check Em at 11:00 to see if she is ready to push.
- 9:30, 10:30 AM Em throws up bile twice which she says relieves her nausea.
- 10:45 AM Janice comes in – no improvement in her cervix. She inserts a catheter to measure the strength of the contractions. Max’s head is in a good position, but Janice found a second sac of fluid that hadn’t burst. She burst it and clear fluid came out. Calls for an increase in pitocin – she thinks that things are going to progress.
- 11:05 AM Bob, Nash and Haven arrive.
- 11:15 AM Increase pitocin drip.
- 12:30 PM Em starts feeling an urge to poop a cantelope.
- 1:05 PM Janice comes to check Em – she is 10 cm, 100% dilated. Ready to push.
- 1:10 PM Em starts pushing – nurses Meredith and Maggie (student) help Janice. Em makes four pushes per contraction – about every 1.5-2 minutes. She feels it in her face.
- 2:10 PM Em has been pushing and Janice can see Max’s head (Nate did too), but Em is tired and they think a c-section might be in order.
- 2:30 PM After some breath-pushing through contractions Em is done. Max’s heart rate drops after every contraction. His head is lodged in her pubic bone. After 40 hours of contractions, Em is tired. Doctors come in for Em to sign releases for a c-section.
- 2:30-2:50 Em is prepped for a c-section. Nate has to wait in a separate area after washing his hands and putting on a two-piece gown thingie.
- 2:55 C-section begins. Nate is brought in and placed on a bench near Em’s head. They won’t let him watch it.
- 3:00 Janice says that they almost have him. After a large suction sound that is Max’s head disengaging from Em’s pubic bone, Max is born at 3:02.
- 3:03-3:10 Nurses bring gray Max to a table to clean him off, get him breathing, and to get the fluid out of his mouth, lungs, and nose. The doctors and Janice start sewing up Em. Nate starts crying and gently touches him. They let him carry Max, who now has a diaper and a hat over to see Em. A nurse takes two pictures of the newest Dunford family.

wah wah wah

I didn't realize how much my life would change after having a baby. I'm only a week and a half in, and I haven't done a thing but eat, sleep, shower, and breastfeed. Oh, yeah. Breastfeeding is amazingly time-consuming. I had no idea I would be camped out on the couch plowing through episodes of Damages, waiting patiently for Max to doze off and into a deep enough sleep to gingerly scoop him up and place him somewhere NOT on me so that I can have a minute to myself. But then I take that minute to myself and start to miss Max. "He's ridiculously cute," says his mom. "They all say that," everyone responds. But really... he's ridiculously cute. I love his twitching face when he's in REM sleep. It's then I discover the many faces he'll make once he understands expression. His "sympathy" face melts me. And he has dimples like his daddy.


I've promised several people that I'd post about Max's birth, but as I mentioned above, I have a monkey attached to my teat 24/7. On top of that, the experience was overwhelming. I have 40 hours of labor to cover, followed by a c-section and recovery... none of which was anticipated, of course.

And my boy calls... At least I got a few words in.

Flash back and flash forward

Look familiar? I am not sure how my Mom knew we'd be having a baby within the next year, but last Christmas she gave us the onesie that I wore when I was a few days old. I am wearing it in a picture that Em posted last week. Once we got home with Max last night, we were anxious to get him into it. Max did not wear it long; as we were trying to go to bed he peed on me with the red onsie still on. Stinker. This is going to be fun!

grrr........rrreat!

Alright. I've about had it.

Nah. I'm just teasing. Being pregnant isn't that bad. Ok. I'm teasing again.

Truth? It's been long, I've done well, and it's almost over. The hardest days were when I was commuting between two part-time jobs in 117 degree weather during my second trimester. Or maybe it was when I was shoving orange rind up my nostrils during my first trimester and couldn't stand the smell of everything, including myself. Or maybe it was the waiting these last few weeks... the waiting and waiting to meet the kid I've been cooking for 9 months, and who seems to want to come out extra crispy.

The best part was when we had our first ultrasound at 17 weeks and were assured that Max was there... and healthy. Or maybe it was when I first felt him move. Or maybe it was two days ago when my midwife told me there would be an end. And that end is tomorrow... I hope.

Max will be nine days overdue when I am induced tomorrow night at 9 p.m. I just realized that nine is appearing all over this pregnancy... 9 months to cook Max, 9 days over due, 9 pounds, 9 p.m... "What does it mean, Nate?" I asked. "Maybe it means we're going to have 9 kids." Bah! Or I'm like a cat with 9 lives, and birthing Max, the 9-pounder, will use up one of them.

As I type this, Max is squirming around. I honestly don't think I'm going to miss that, only because my experience will be upgraded to having Max squirming in my arms. And thinking about him outside of myself makes me re-visit how bizarre the reality of having him INSIDE of me has been. Having gone through pregnancy only makes it more intriguing and strange than it was before I had the experience. It's weird, people. The "beauty" comes from the end result. Otherwise, I'm like a host for a parasite, or a Gremlin doused in water.

It's a strange process, yes. On the other hand, I don't know if I've ever been so excited in my life.

Because it is a time of gift-giving... A re-post from my previous blog.

in second grade, mrs. shaw took on a student teacher. he was not only male, but cute. our little desks were set up in a u-shape. i was on the left side of the U which meant that as he passed out papers to the right-side U sitters i had a perfect view of his double plump backside. it was perhaps my first crush on a real man (2nd graders were mere boys). one particular day i had an overwhelming force that lifted my hand off my desk and aimed it right at his bum (i said bum back then). i hesitated as my peabrain processed the pros and cons of what i was about to do. i decided i didn't care. i watched in a trance as my bird boned finger reached forward and bullseyed into his bubbling right cheek, wrinkling his navy dockers. bam! i retracted my arm realizing what i'd just done, what two seconds before i couldn't quite anticipate. i lowered my head and stared intently at the paper in front of me waiting for the inevitable awkwardness. i saw his legs turning and i slowly raised eyes to meet his. embarrassment ensued as i tried my hardest to look casual, my beet face expressing "what are you looking at?" i'm pretty sure i remember a slight smile in response as he turned back around to finish passing out papers.

you'd think that i would have lost interest, or at least learned my lesson. oh no. not me. not emilie martin. when christmas rolled around, i found waiting for me on my desk a zig-zagged edged card with a bit of holly hand-drawn on the front. hand-drawn! inside - "to emilie. have a merry christmas. from, mr ---." (i can't remember his name now. how could i forget his name?) i still have the card tucked away somewhere amongst art work and spelling tests - A+!

valentine's day included this exchange -
peabrain: (with hands behind my back) uh, mr --- ?
mr ---: (turns around) yeah?
peabrain: i have something for you.
mr ---: oh yeah? what's that?
peabrain: (smirking) a kiss!
mr ---: uh... um... huh?
peabrain: (i present from behind my back a giant hershey kiss) teeheehee... it's a HERSHEY'S kiss, silly!"
mr ---: (glances from side to side) thanks, i guess.

i realized too late that i was making a fool of myself. his smile was not flirtatious but evidence of his shock; his hand-made card was not thoughtful, but frugal and probably evidence of a wife at home; and his lack of response to my "kiss" was not because he was flattered into speechlessness, but probably (most definitely) because he was horrified.

he didn't come back the next year. did he not love me? the answer then and now remains the same - no. he did not. but i'd poked his bum and given him a chocolate kiss he'd never forget.

Thinking about water... breaking

Genes

Emilie (Emily at the time) in the hospital at 1 day old...


Nathan at home at 2 days old...


Max...

(photo pending)

Punk.

slow cooker

Today is Max's due date. So far, he's still due. We didn't make big plans for Thanksgiving... just sleeping in, eating leftover turkey dinner, and going to a movie. Here's hoping our plans are ruined.

leaving my mark

I never used to leave dents in plastic pool chairs. Come on, Max. Come on...

Waiting

I finished my last day of work on Monday with a free massage, courtesy of Dr. Jason. I was sent home with a couple gift bags, a box of diapers and wipes from Costco, and "come see us when you have Max!" as the final goodbye from everyone. I was relieved to not have to work anymore, but I'm going to miss those guys. They are good people.

That evening, Nate had his championship games for the Tempe softball league. I made it to the first one but was too tired to stay for the last... which is a royal bummer considering Nate hit 3 home runs. Yes, 3. Two of them were in the same inning, might I add. They won 24 to 22. I was in the kitchen when Nate came home to tell me the news, tossing the game ball in his hands while recounting the game with impressive detail. My man.

I spent Tuesday running errands and had a decent amount of energy, but these last two days have been kinda blah. I'm now 5 days from my due date. I had a little conversation with Max last night, albeit one-sided. "Hey, Max. What are you doing this weekend? Wanna come out?" We'll see what he decides.

In the meantime, Nate got several free movie passes from work, and we still have some restaurant.com coupons. We are trying to stay busy in our free time by consuming food and entertainment when we aren't packing up the apartment. I still cook for us, but I lack the motivation to clean up after myself. I'll be wiping up excrement and spit-up in no time flat, and in my mind that somehow excuses me from my own mess as I wait to clean up Max's. On the other hand, I don't want to bring Max home to chaos and filth, so I guess I'll be cleaning today. When Nate comes home, I'll toss a dirty dish cloth in my hands while I recount my cleaning methods with impressive detail.

Sunny with a chance of Sprinkles

Nate was a bit late coming home from work today. He was taking a detour to buy me these -

Lemon Coconut and Pumpkin



Who doesn't love a surprise cupcake? Or two? Happy Friday to me!

horses horses horses horses

Here I am - single, unpregnant, and making a fool of myself. I love this photo, because it reminds me of when I was skinny and never got charley horses.

It's hard not to count the days in anticipation of Max's arrival. I feel like my life right now is all about that... waiting. I've had a lot of practice at the waiting game, though. I was in a state of waiting in that photo, waiting for my man Nate to ride in on his white horse and rescue me from singledom. The difference here is that I have an estimated arrival date.

I can't say that being pregnant has been a bad experience, but I'm at the point where I want my body back. I want to run up the stairs two at a time. I want to lay on my stomach. I want to paint my toenails and color my hair. I want to hug my knees to my chest. And I want to slouch without crushing another human being. But I also wanted a baby.

I guess all I'm saying with this post is the obvious - I'm ready to be done. I want my baby now, please... that and a body that will fit into my normal clothes again.

are you achin' for some bacon?

Last night while reading a book on writing, Nate turned to me and said, "Emilie, if I didn't play so many computer games and chess online, I'd get so much more done." Duh. What he was really saying was that he is willing to make a change. We then made a pact to spend our "free" time doing something either creative or educational. Nate has been working on a website and brainstorming for a book he wants to write, so this new found zest for being even more productive is supported 100% by little ol' me. Besides, when Nate is productive, he usually brings home more bacon. And I do love bacon, of both sorts.

We also talked about journaling more. Our blog has done an ok job of representing what we do in our spare time, but it doesn't show what we think and talk about on a daily basis... and in essence, who we are. I think in the future we'll be equally interested in who we were as in what we were doing back in the day.

I'm at work waiting for the patients to arrive. Mondays are slow here. One of the therapists just arrived a bit early and asked how my stomach was doing. I said it was big. He said that I am going to be a good mom. I've been thinking about being a good mom lately, as I should be... considering I will be a mom in a few weeks. And holy cow. It's been awhile since I've "been" something new... like a student or a sister-in-law or a wife. Now, it's Mom. While reading "Jesus the Christ" the other day, I started thinking about the similarities between the "suffering" of pregnancy, labor, and giving birth and what Christ suffered for us. I'm not going to get preachy, but it made me consider Christ's attitude toward suffering pain that wasn't His own. His physical suffering wasn't an indication that something was wrong with Him in the same way that my physical suffering isn't and won't be an indication that something is wrong with me. The suffering is a burden He was willing to take on because it was necessary to bring about what He and His father wanted. He suffered because He loved us, and I will suffer because I love Max. Kinda cool. I think the comparison might help me get through the true suffering of pregnancy... when Max comes out. Yikes. And I don't want to get into the whole debate about pain meds during pregnancy or anything... "You don't HAVE to suffer... just put a needle in your spine!" For me, it feels right to try to go natural. With that decision comes some suffering, but I'm willing. We'll see if my will pulls through. Either way, I'll bring home a bacon bit of my own.

let it roll

Nate and I took his little cousins bowling tonight. I watched until I decided to take a turn... during which my mini-heeled shoes slipped, causing me to pull a muscle or two. I was hoping it would put me into labor, but no luck. So I watched Nate compete against kids using bumpers and occasionally took a picture with my phone.

cotton-headed ninnymuggins

Because I have so little time before the kiddo arrives, I might as well get some things done early... like Christmas Eve decorations. Yes, they were on the bottom of a long list of things to do, but they were definitely the most anticipated. Packing up dishes doesn't compare.

The Dunfords love Mexican food... so do the Martins, or more specifically, the Petersons. And so my discovery that the Dunfords celebrate Christmas Eve by making a TON of Mexican food and eating themselves silly was a mouth-watering surprise. This year (and because all of the recipes are near perfect as is), I wanted to contribute by making a little Christmas table decor. I came across the idea on a blog somewhere on the internets and made my own Christmas version... with variations. I plan on adding more detail later... antlers for the reindeer, a flame for the candle, arms for the snowman, a star for the tree, and a loop for the ornament.



I can see why people sell their crafts or gift them as if they are worth something more than cardboard, tape, and tissue paper... because they are. I poured hours of half of my attention into these bad boys (the other half was given to "The Wonder Years"), and I'm going to string them and reuse them until they yellow and smell of mustiness so bad that I can't justify draping them over a lovely spread of Mexican yumminess anymore. And when that day comes, I'll tell Max, "I made those while I was still making you" as a single tear rolls down my wrinkled cheek.

In conclusion, these mini-pinatas now exist because I made them, and Nate thinks I'd "make a good sweat shop worker."

a report on how our marriage is faring

The other night, Nate and I went to the grocery store for a few needed groceries, and of course we ended up buying a Blu-ray that was on sale. After checking out, Nate noticed that right after the receipt listed the Blu-ray, it listed "Smooth CD." This perturbed him to the point of taking the receipt to customer service. "I didn't buy a smooth CD," he told her. "I don't even know what that would be." I offered that maybe it was a bonus CD that came with the DVD... maybe? Might I mention that the movie was Jet Li's "Fearless?" We then stood there like idiots as the woman at customer service counted our items and explained that "smooth CD is the conditioner for smooth hair" that we had bought. "Um... yeeeeaaah... thanks!" I said sheepishly. So now, any time Nate does anything dumb, he says, "I did not buy the smooth CD" in a voice that throws me into wild laughter.

I had always hoped that I would marry someone funny, and while Nate doesn't always show that side of himself to everyone else, I get to experience it daily... and man, he kills me. I'm happy to say that after a year and 3 months of marriage, not only do I love my husband, I still really like him.

Sunday Morning, Early Dawnin'

Before heading out on Sunday morning, we stopped by a final time to see Baby Isaac. He's a cute kid, and we can't wait for he and Max to meet.






Sending the grandparents to church...


On the drive home...


And we're back!

bon fire appetit

This was the longest trip to Snowflake we'd had together, so we were able to spend a little time with most of the relatives. The grandparents, Sandy, Kara, Justin, Nate and I ate at Eva's (Mexican food!) one night. Sandy had us all over for a crepe, peaches, and cream breakfast. Rikki and Kara gave me tons of advice on giving birth. Kara took Grandma, Nate, and me on a "Pepsi run" and drove us around some pretty parts of Snowflake. We stopped by to see Gary and Sara for a bit. Danny and his two youngest kids were in town as well, so we invited them out to a bonfire on Grandpa's orchard our last night. While Danny and the kids picked apples, Grandpa and Nate got the fire ready. Greg came with his dog, Gus, and Aaron and Jasmine met us there as well. We made hot dogs and s'mores while chatting around the cedar fire for a couple hours. Once the sun goes down, you can see a billion stars... and the air was crisp and our bellies full. Perfect night.

Pumpkins in Snowflake

Wednesday was spent lazing about at Hazel and Daryl's house in Snowflake. Of course Nate's grandma was making bread, so we slathered on some creamed honey and had ourselves a warm piece. The weather was much cooler than in Phoenix, so I got in an Autumn mood. That evening we carved pumpkins with Aaron and Jasmine (Baby Isaac slept quietly in his carrier). Nate's grandpa made me some hot cocoa with vanilla ice cream - a new treat for me. I thought our pumpkin turned out pretty darn cool. It was inspired by our having watched 4 seasons of the X-files. We let the seeds dry for a day or so before I cleaned and baked them in butter, sugar, and cinnamon. It was a new treat for the grandparents. Give and take.

Meteor Crater

For years, Nate has been wanting to go to this meteor crater near Winslow. It was more impressive than I thought it would be, and I realized the significance of what it was we were seeing after having touched a piece of the meteor... THAT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE! Instead of taking the hour long guided tour, we took a walk by ourselves out the back door to some look-out points. Nate was a happy camper.

Sedona

Nate took me to Tlaquepaque where we walked around on cobble stone streets in slow-mo and took in the sounds of soft guitar music and fountains. We visited a music box store and a toy store before we headed over to a bridge overlooking a stream coming down from the mountains. As the sun started to set, we ate dinner on a balcony with a perfect view of the red rock. The whole evening was enchanting.









After dinner, we drove to Flagstaff for the night. We don't have TV at home, so we immediately turned on the TV in our hotel room and stretched out on the bed after a long day. We ended up watching Chopped on the Food Network channel until midnight. Sure, we love the show, but seriously? We agreed that we have no self-control and don't deserve to get TV... ever. We're sticking to Netflix.

Montezuma's Well

Nate and I just got back from a little vacation during Nate's Fall break. We left Tuesday morning (the day after my trip to the emergency room) and drove up to Sedona. On the way, we stopped at Montezuma's Well, the hub of life for the Sinagua Indians. We hiked down some stone steps to see remains of their dwellings and saw some graffiti dating back to the 1800's. Despite Nate's ankle and my huge belly, we got around pretty well... pretty well. Ba duh dum.