who, who... he?

I had an appointment yesterday, and everything is going well with me and Max. Although, I dropped my urine sample in the toilet. Does that make me unwell? Nice one.

People keep telling me that I look small for being 32 weeks pregnant, and I just tell them, "I don't feel small." I think it's because I carry Max "inside" as my mom calls it. She and my sister both looked smaller than average while pregnant. If I do indeed look smaller than the average pregnant woman, it does not reflect the size of the baby. I can assure you that Max is definitely bulkier than before and growing every day. I guess I'm supposed to be gaining a pound a week, and most of that is a result of Max plumping up, not me. I must have small organs for him to fit so snuggly "inside" of me. So what people really should be telling me is, "Wow, you have a really small pancreas." And for the record, I honestly don't think I look small.

I had been having hip discomfort while sleeping on my sides, and I knew it was my extra weight pushing on my sciatic nerve while my hips were stretching. Oh, pregnancy. I went in for an hour and a half massage, and Heather beat me up so good. I haven't had pain the last two nights. But back to the beating... While Heather was digging her knuckle into my glutes and hip joint, I was practicing relaxing like I'll need to do while giving birth. Despite the pressure and the pain, I tried to keep my muscles calm. I have to say that I did really well, and if that's any indication of how I'll deal with the pain of birth, then it'll be a cinch. Bwahahaha! I'm not serious. It took all my will power and concentration to stay relaxed, and that was probably a tenth of the pain I have coming my way.

Speaking of empowerment... My sister told me that her doctor once told her that she should just get drugs for pain because she didn't need to prove anything to herself, or something like that. He was referring to the "empowerment" that comes with giving birth without meds. Well, I'm not ashamed to say that part of the reason I want to give birth without meds is for empowerment. I am woman; hear me roar. And roar I will...right through each contraction.

In the meantime, I need to get a grip and quit acting like a fool by fishing urine samples out of the toilet. I don't want to be dropping Max on his big dome after I screamed him into this world.