excuse me

I had a small mental breakdown yesterday that manifested itself in the ten shirts I tried on before I settled on one and sat on the edge of my bed, shoulders slouched and head down while I mumbled something like, "I'm sick of being a cow." My mom suggested we take a day off from our diet, and my dad offered to watch Max so we could see The Hunger Games. I know it's counter-intuitive, but when I feel fat, eating makes me feel better. Mom and I stuffed ourselves with Mexican food and then bought some treats at the store. My mom was dumping the contents of a bag of Reeses peanut butter eggs in her purse when she said, "I don't feel good." She's so supportive. Ha. Now that my mind was off of food, it was free to explore other things... like... During the preview for Titanic in 3D, I actually got emotional. At first I thought it was seeing a young Leo or seeing the old couple embracing on the bed as water rushed into their room... but then I realized it was that I missed Nate. I turned to my mom who was tearing up, too... and the laughing commenced. Ah... It was a good day.

Then today happened. Around here, shopping for anything other than groceries requires a mini day trip. Trips usually include eating out. Well, we wanted to go shopping. That meant we HAD to break the diet again. See? It wasn't our fault. And then we passed an ice cream shop. I felt compelled to do some research for Dunny's.


I've never had to diet before. Not like this. I actually have a significant amount of weight to lose. So while I find dieting hard, it's also necessary... which makes it harder. I don't like being forced into something, even if it's my own ego forcing me into it.

Tomorrow, we will commence the diet. That is, unless...